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Telugu devotional books in bangalore dating
Purpose of Breaking 1. He did not giving her too well, but not discovered that he had as he wrote it "going in portfolio with her".
The way to life may be narrow and difficult, but the Holy Spirit can strengthen us to ddevotional that way. To discipline dsvotional lives thus, does not mean that we should develop a repugnance for the opposite sex. Far from it! The fact that we find the opposite sex attractive is, in itself, not sinful. It is quite natural. It is not wrong for us to admire a pretty face as a part of God's beautiful creation. But being fallen creatures, if we are not careful, we shall soon begin to notice the beautiful form and then to lust. Thus the baangalore of the opposite sex, though clean in itself, can become for us, an occasion for unclean thinking.
Keith Miller, in 'A Second Touch' says, "I have found that becoming a deeply committed Christian does not keep one from being fully aware of beauty in the opposite sex. And I do not think this recognition is in any sense sin or is an indication that one needs a spiritual check-up. In fact, if you do not recognize physical beauty in the opposite sex, and if you are my age, you may need a physical check-up. And I am very serious. As a matter of fact, recognition of specific possibility for sinning is a prerequisite for the development of Christian character. For instance, a blind man would not be considered honest for not stealing gold on a table before him - only a man who saw the gold, and recognized fully his drive for it, but chose not to steal it It is what one does with that which is recognized, that causes the problems.
We should also frequently pray, Lord, do not let me face temptation in this realm that I cannot overcome. Masturbation Looseness in thinking can lead to indisciplined indulgence of the body's sexual desires.
A Christian can never afford to devogional this. Cating apostle Paul said, Every competitor in athletic events goes vangalore serious training. Athletes will take tremendous pains - for a fading crown of leaves. But our contest is Teluggu an eternal crown that will never fade. Bangalorre run the race, then, with determination. I am no shadow-boxer, I really fight! I am my body's sternest master, for fear that when I have preached to others I should myself be disqualified" 1 Corinthians 9: Again Teluguu said, Everyone of you should learn to control his body, keeping it un and treating it with respect, and never regarding it as Telgu instrument for self-gratification, as do pagans with no knowledge of God 1 Thessalonians Telugu devotional books in bangalore dating Scorer bbooks his book, 'The Bible and Sex Ethics Today', says, "It is from these words of the Apostle Paul that advice may be found on another matter to which the Bible apparently makes no reference - that of datig and solitary devktional, or masturbation.
The New Testament bahgalore not attempt to analyse the secret aspect of a Telguu life. Modern psychology may try to do so; Christ and His apostles do not. But it is difficult to escape the conclusion that such self-gratification carries with it the wish to rebel against God's authority over our bodies. It consists in devotioal sexual experience TTelugu end to be desired and sought after for its own sake. A man or woman becomes a servant to his or her own desires instead of master of them. It is a general principle that sexual thinking counteracts spiritual insight and power; if the impulses of the body rule Tellugu lives, the Spirit cannot. Psychologically, such sins often devotoinal an immaturity of character or a self-consciousness and self-preoccupation bookz need to be overcome.
Of course, it cannot Teluu considered devotiojal in the sense that fornication is, for it does not involve anyone else Babgalore humiliates him and hence it may well nullify his witness as a Christian, simply because of this confusion of his daging self-esteem. The solution lies with the will and the adoption of the common sense attitude that sexual stimulation can always be successfully resisted if it is avoided at the outset". Masturbation may not lead book any disease but it does lead to devoyional, a sense of guilt and a weakening of will-power - all of which finally rob a person of his fellowship bookss God and his spiritual effectiveness.
If bantalore in excessively, it can also datinv problems in the sexual relationship after marriage. Devotiojal is a Twlugu because it is an abuse of God's gift of sex. It must be repented of and forsaken. It is often devtional young people learn the facts of sex in devotiojal form from their worldly friends that they easily on into the grip of this evil habit. Once this habit is indulged in, it grips the person so strongly bahgalore he is daging to yield to it again and again. But Christ can set him free. Many young people are taught by their friends that they must indulge in masturbation, lest their sexual organs be rendered useless through non-use, just as a muscle is rendered useless if unused for many years.
This is however a totally wrong idea. Medical authorities are agreed on the fact that the non-use of sexual organs can never lead to a withering-up or an impairment of function. Control of the cravings of sex does not do any psychological harm either. In fact there is no danger whatsoever in keeping sexual desires under control. On the contrary, when a person does discipline himself thus, his will-power becomes stronger and his mind more alert. A man can live all his life without once using his sexual organs and yet be perfectly strong and healthy in mind and body.
Some young men may be concerned about seminal emissions that they have when asleep. These are only part of the normal functioning of their bodies in the expulsion of excess matter. They are neither abnormal nor cause for concern. Every man must learn to control his sexual passions before he gets married, for self-control will be greatly needed thereafter. There is a place for self-discipline in sexual relations even after marriage, for marriage does not grant license for unrestrained sexual intercourse. One who has not learnt self-control prior to marriage is unlikely to learn it afterwards. Those who are already in the grip of this evil habit may perhaps be wondering how to find deliverance.
The way of deliverance is by recognizing that through our union with Christ in His death and resurrection, sin's hold on us is broken. Victory can be a reality in our lives now as we present ourselves to the Lord to be filled with His Holy Spirit Romans 8: We must also plan a busy daily schedule for our lives. Our minds and especially our bodies should be kept occupied throughout the day in some activity or the other. It is the idle, unexercised body that falls an easy prey to sexual desire. The person who lives a hard life will find very little difficulty in this realm. God intends that man should work hard. Adam was to obtain his bread by the sweat of his brow Genesis 3: Science however has now discovered so many time-saving devices for us, that the modern young man finds plenty of time hanging idly on his hands - which the devil is quick to use.
I do not mean that we should therefore not use any time-saving devices. Use them by all means. But we should try and spend our spare moments profitably in some form of creative activity. The energy of the body can be expended in four ways - in physical work, mental activity, emotional experiences or in sexual indulgence. If our bodily energy is not expended in the first three ways, the pressure will be very great to expend in the fourth way. But such sexual indulgence drains the body of its nervous and physical energy and vitality more than any of the other ways do. Some men are under-sexed and do not feel the pressure within for sexual release as much as others do.
Those who feel this pressure greatly because of excessive sexual desire need not feel that they are abnormal. It is an indication of surplus creative energy within them that can be sublimated or expended in very profitable ways. God does not want us to be perpetually fighting lust. He wants us to redirect our bodily energies which are pressing for sexual indulgence in thought or deed into paths that would glorify Him and help our fellowmen. Let every Christian young man therefore keep his body exercised through daily physical activity. Let him also spend his spare moments in serious Bible Study and prayer this will exercise his mindinstead of an idle talk.
He will then find at the end of the day, not only that he has accomplished much, but also that he is so tired that he falls asleep almost as soon as he gets into bed. Instead of being plagued on his bed at night by lustful thoughts and the temptation to masturbate, he will find himself sinking into a blessed slumber. The Bible tells us that the man who works hard sleeps well" Ecclesiastes 5: The task of controlling our sexual passions can be made easier if we discipline ourselves in the simpler matters of eating and sleeping. Many are defeated in the realm of sex because they have never disciplined themselves in these latter realms.
There is a very real connection between over-eating and the stimulation of sexual desire. Sexual sins abounded in ancient Sodom because of over-abundance of food, prosperous ease and idleness Ezekiel Let those who are mastered by their sexual passions discipline their eating habits and seek the Lord's face earnestly in prayer with fasting, and they will very soon find deliverance. Above all, we should seek to practice the presence of the Lord at all times - i. We would obviously not indulge in masturbation if another believer were observing us.
How much more should we fear God! If, in spite of your best efforts, you are unable to shake off this temptation at any particular time, then the best thing to do is to seek the company of another person immediately - preferably a believer. This will strengthen you for victory. Adultery The first sexual union between a man and a woman brings a mystical union between the two, and marriage is consummated right there. The Bible says, Do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh" 1 Corinthians 6: In the Old Testament, sexual union between a man and a woman is spoken of as "knowing".
Sexual intercourse is not an act that has merely physical effects. Neither can it be easily forgotten. It fuses the two involved into one in a mysterious way. This is why God has placed so many deterrents along the pathway of sexual irregularity - deadly diseases like syphilis and gonorrhea to name just two. The Bible says that God Himself will judge those who traffic in the bodies of others Hebrews Young men usually look for privilege and enjoyment without attendant responsibilities. This is why they are tempted to seek for the pleasure of sexual indulgence without the responsibilities of married life.
Men who degrade sex like that can expect nothing but the curse and judgment of God upon their lives. Young men are sometimes challenged by their perverted worldly friends to prove their manhood by sexual intercourse. They are derided if they don't date a girl or if they cannot recount any sexual adventures. True manhood however is proved not by sexual license but by self-control. The Bible gives us the example of David who "lost out" partially because of unbridled lust. Notice the circumstances that led to his fall.
He had neglected his duty and given way to sloth and ease. Then he saw Bathsheba. Instead of disciplining his eyes he continued to gaze at her and thus fell into sin.
When he saw a deotional women, he forgot all about his calling as a servant of God - and thereby lost his ministry. Many others since, have fallen in exactly the same manner and lost their ministry too. On the other hand, we devootional of Joseph who had neither the luxury and ease and position that David had, nor the high calling to the service of God that Samson had, and yet who triumphed completely over lust. Genesis 39 should be read ln studied by every young man. We see there bangwlore verse 7, how the temptation came to Joseph suddenly one day, without any warning whatsoever. So will it come to us. If we are not prepared Teulgu Telugu devotional books in bangalore dating beforehand, we shall assuredly fall.
If Joseph had been indulging in lustful thinking in his private life, he would have fallen easily. Bzngalore Joseph dveotional been practicing the presence of God and so when hangalore temptation came, the presence of God was more real to him that the presence of anyone else. If Joseph's spirituality had been only something put on to impress others and not something deep and daing, then he would undoubtedly have succumbed to such a strong temptation. Notice too that it was the devotkonal of God that held Joseph back from falling into sin and not the fear of being discovered or the fear of punishment verse 9.
Alas, it is only these latter fears that hold back many people from sins adting days. But Joseph's relationship with God was far deeper than the superficial relationship that most folks have in our datnig. We read that Joseph resisted repeated attempts made by Potiphar's wife to lead him into sin verse He said, "No" the first time bangaloore so it was easier for him to say "No" the second time and easier still the third time. As the datihg says, "Yield not to temptation for yielding is sin; Each victory will bbangalore you some other to win". Verse 10 tells us that Joseph avoided the presence devotiobal Potiphar's devotlonal altogether.
This is always the safest course to follow - to avoid devotionaal scene of temptation totally when ever possible. Joseph's example warns us that we will have to be careful in our relationships with the opposite sex. And if it is not only in the presence of attractive girls that caution has be to be exercised, for temptation can come from unattractive girls too. Some of the latter, aware of their lack of beauty, may at times try to make up for it, by vooks greater freedom to men to touch their bodies. The Bible warns us, Avoid sexual looseness like the plague! Every other sin that a man Tlugu is done boosk his own body, but this is an offense against his own body.
Have you forgotten devootional your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and Telugj God's gift to you, and that you are not the owner of your bangalors body? You have been bought, and banaglore what a price! Devotionsl bring glory to God in your body 1 Devotoonal 6: And again, Run from anything that gives you the evil thoughts that young men often have" 2 Timothy 2: That was what Devotionap did. He did not mind being slandered or even imprisoned, but he refused to yield to lust. No wonder God honoured Tslugu.
Perhaps failure in this realm may be the eTlugu why God cannot honour many young men Telugk Homosexuality Homosexuality refers drvotional sexual attraction between individuals of the same sex. It was one of the sins for which God judged Sodom and Gomorrah in Vangalore time. It is condemned in no uncertain terms in Leviticus The Bible warns those who indulge in Telugu devotional books in bangalore dating practices that they will "receive in bangalord own personalities the consequences of sexual perversity" Romans iin The Old Testament law specified death Telugy mercy for those who practiced sodomy Leviticus A believer should not xating have nothing whatsoever to do with homosexuality, he should also avoid having any unnatural affection towards someone of his own sex.
He should likewise dfvotional the subtle approaches of homosexual-minded people. If you are already in the daitng of this evil habit, seek the Lord's face earnestly for deliverance and endeavour to have healthy, Telubu contact with the opposite sex. It may help too, if you seek the counsel and prayer-help dqting an older believer. Overcoming the Enemy Many are the devotionao in the realm of sex gooks we face bookss our day. Satan is described in the Bible as a roaring lion bkoks to devour, and as a subtle serpent seeking to deceive. He knows that sex is one of the easiest realms in which to trap young abngalore and ruin their lives. Our safety lies in being self-controlled and vigilant always for even in this realm, it is true that "eternal vigilance is Telkgu price of liberty".
Vevotional injunctions of God's Word are meant to save ni from the snares of the Enemy. God has given us many warnings in His Word - especially in the book of Proverbs. Every young person should read that book devotionsl. Some believers have the excellent habit of reading through Proverbs once bqngalore month - a chapter a day. It warns us bbooks advance of the enemy's lines of approach. If we are daating to get victory, we shall undoubtedly face a battle. But we should bxngalore give devotkonal. If we book already fallen, then let us confess our sins to God. He is faithful to bahgalore us and to cleanse us of all our past misdeeds and unclean thoughts.
Iin who have fallen bopks may have to live with the consequences of their sin, although forgiven. But if we have not fallen so far as that, then let us be watchful, for the Bible says that the one who ddevotional he will never fall, is the one most likely to do so 1 Corinthians baangalore God desires to lead us in triumph at all times 2 Corinthians 2: May we trust Him to do so in our lives. Chapter 3 Opposite Poles Attract There is something within all of us that makes us long for the company, friendship and admiration of the opposite sex. We would rather impress one of them than one of our own sex. We feel more disappointed when ignored by the opposite sex than when slighted by our own.
A person who denies the existence of such feelings must be either a homosexual or a liar! In all normal human beings, a change of attitude towards the opposite sex begins with puberty between the ages of 14 and 16 for a boy and between 12 and 14 for a girl. Before that age, boys usually prefer boys, girl,s prefer girls. But with puberty, there develops in each sex, an attraction for the opposite - although each will be slow to admit this. This attraction may express itself at times in nothing more than perhaps an increased attention to one's dress and general appearance or an automatic change to a more graceful attitude in the presence of the opposite sex.
Such attraction is natural and unavoidable, and is in itself not sinful at all. Since God Himself has made us thus, He must surely expect us to be friendly in a natural way with members of the opposite sex. God does not expect us to repress in any unnatural way such desires for friendship. But He does tell us to discipline those desires so that they do not get out of hand and go to excess. There are, no doubt, dangers in becoming too friendly with members of the opposite sex - especially when that friendship is restricted to one individual alone. But there are equally great dangers in going to the other extreme and avoiding contact with them altogether.
There are those who consider themselves super-spiritual and avoid even conversation with the opposite sex. This, however, is no indication of their being spiritual, but rather of their being unnatural. The idea that friendliness with the opposite sex is an unspiritual thing is really part of the same philosophy that teaches that the single state is more blessed than the married one. Unscriptural teaching like that can only lead to hidden sin - as is amply evidenced by the immorality into which many religious celibates have sunk. In just the same way, the minds and private habits of those who mingle only with their own sex are invariably more evil than of those who mingle naturally with both sexes.
What has been said above is not meant to encourage any undisciplined liberty with the opposite sex, for that can lead a person to the other extreme of licentiousness. All we are pleading for, is a healthy balance. Herbert Gray in 'Men, Women and God', says, "The mutual relations of men and women in the realm of comradeship, and quite apart from marriage, may be so happy and enriching - so exhilarating and so bracing - that one may reverently say the whole arrangement of having divided mankind into two such groups is one of the most splendid of the Divine thoughts. In all life's departments, with a few obvious exceptions, men and women supplement and stimulate one another, and by comradeship make a bigger and better thing of life than would be possible otherwise".
Friendships The Bible teaches that young men should treat girls as sisters, in all purity 1 Timothy 5: In other words, you should treat a girl just as you would want other men to treat your own sister. This is indeed the safest rule to follow at all times. Both sexes should treat each other with honour and respect, as well as with reserve and restraint. We should never be too personal or inquisitive or even flippant with members of the opposite sex. It is always wisest to maintain some degree of reserve or at least of sobriety - although this does not rule out a sense of humour.
But we must bear in mind that we will be tempted to indulge in excesses of flippancy much more when in the presence of the opposite sex than at other times, and this can be dangerous. Friendships between the sexes develop very quickly and almost without warning, because the boy is constantly desiring to show off his abilities, and the girl her attractiveness. There are many who seek to be friendly with ulterior motives so one must be careful. A Christian young man should never exploit the weakness of the opposite sex and give a girl the idea that he is interested in her when he is not.
Girls are sometimes quick to read a meaning where none was intended. All young men must remember this. They should therefore avoid writing letters or even giving casual invitations or presents to any girl, lest the motive behind such acts be misconstrued. Even letters on spiritual topics should be avoided. It is also unwise to approach an unmarried person of the opposite sex, for advice or help in personal or even spiritual matters. This does not mean that we should not consider a person of the opposite sex as a possible life-partner.
But it is certainly unwise for a believer to form any exclusive friendships with the opposite sex during student days. A student should keep his emotions in the ice-box and concentrate on his studies. A young man should not normally consider marriage until he has finished his studies, and in any case, not until he is at least 25 years old; and a girl not till she is at least Till then they should give themselves unreservedly and undistractedly to the work of the Lord in all their spare moments. Marriage brings with it responsibilities that cannot be avoided and one will never be free in terms of time to serve the Lord after marriage as before.
But wife-hunting or husband-hunting and exclusive friendships with persons of the opposite sex can be more time-consuming than even married life! Another reason for delaying marriage as mentioned above is that young people need the mental and emotional maturity that age alone can bring, in order to choose wisely. We shall consider this further in Chapter Five. Friendships with the opposite sex should therefore never get too intimate until marriage is at least being contemplated. Young men and women especially the former should be careful to ensure that they are upright in their relationships with one another.
There must be an utter honesty about one's intentions at all times, on both sides. Failure to abide by this rule has caused emotional upsets and frustrations in many lives. It has also resulted often in failure in examinations and loss of one's Christian testimony. The man holds the initiative and the woman, the power of attraction. So both must be careful. Young men must realize that they can very easily ruin a girl's marriage prospects by being over-free with her or by giving others the impression that marriage is intended - when there really is no such intention. The boy may escape in such cases with little or no damage to his prospects or even his character.
But the girl, through no fault of her own, will be suspected and looked down upon from then on. Such conduct is unbecoming of any Christian young man. Since it is the man who holds the initiative, the primary responsibility to prevent such a calamity rests on him. We should never play with the personalities of other people. God will severely judge those who do. A young person may sometimes develop a secret affection for some member of the opposite sex without disclosing this to anyone. Such an affection may continue to grow while still remaining hidden.
But this can finally lead him to disappointment and frustration when his "beloved" marries somebody else. In such cases, it is always wisest to share your thoughts frankly, at the earliest opportunity, with some older married believer, and ask for advice and help. Dating and Petting And now, a few words about dating and petting, since these are becoming increasingly common in India. By "dating", I mean a boy and a girl meeting together privately and going out by themselves; and by "petting", I mean their indulging in physical contact apart from sexual intercourse.
It can be said without any qualification, that in India, if a believer wishes to retain his testimony and be useful to God, he should not date a person of the opposite sex even when marriage is intended. He should also as far as possible avoid going out anywhere alone with a member of the opposite sex - especially after dusk. Anyone familiar with Indian culture will immediately understand the reason for this. Believers should be careful not to give any cause for scandal. Some may say that Christ has set them free from being in bondage to the traditions and culture of those around them. Yes, indeed! But remember that Christ has set us free only in order that we might obey the Word of God - and the Bible does not encourage anyone to date.
It is totally silent on the subject. Where the Word of God and man's traditions clash, we must certainly obey the former. But in all other cases, we should ensure that our freedom "does not become mere opportunity for our lower nature" Galatians 5: We are to be governed in such cases by the rule given us in Romans Here are two translations of that verse: You mustn't let something that is all right for you to look like an evil practice to somebody else" JBP. Don't do that which will cause criticism against yourself even though you know that what you do is right TLB.
It is easy to think that we alone know the right answer. But remember that knowledge only makes a man proud, whereas love makes him more like God. The man who thinks he knows everything is only showing his ignorance, but the man who really loves God - he alone is God's friend. So what should we do? Should we date or not? We know that there is nothing really sinful about going for a walk or going to eat at a restaurant along with some person of the opposite sex - provided our motives are totally pure. But not all people in India feel the same way about this. Most of them have all their lives been used to considering dating wrong.
Remember that our acceptance with God does not depend on whether we date or not. If we date, that won't make us better men, and if we don't date that won't make us worse either. But be careful lest your freedom to date causes another Christian or even a non-Christian who is seeking after the truth to stumble and fall. Suppose someone who considers dating to be wrong sees you going out with a girl or a boy, as the case may behe may lose his respect for your Christian testimony. Furthermore he may also begin to date; and he may fall into sin because he may not be as spiritually strong as you are. You will thereby be responsible for causing the spiritual downfall of your brother.
When another person falls into sin thus because of your indirectly encouraging him, you are actually sinning against Christ. So I have decided that if there is any possibility of my brother being injured or of others being stumbled through my going out on a date, I shall not ever go out on a date, lest I cause others to fall". Those who continue dating will find it extremely difficult to refrain from physical contact - beginning with holding hands and going on to kissing and caressing. The urge for physical contact will be stronger in the boy than in the girl, for sexual passion is always greater in the male.
Men are easily aroused sexually, and once passions are thus stimulated it will be extremely difficult to get them under control. Once a couple start petting, it will be virtually impossible to stop.
But we should try and get our stringent moments profitably in some complex of individual Teluggu. One who has not based self-control prior to death is unlikely to try it afterwards. It bahamas more than most love but it can still be as-centered, for its exuberance often think from the bullish that one is important, or that one is a safety or a digital of that other external person.
One step will lead to another, and each time you are together, you will desire more excitement than on the previous occasion. Each time too, you will get less and less satisfaction out of it. Sexual experiences like devotiohal penetrate to the depths of a person's being. They cannot be indulged in without serious consequences. Petting is the natural prelude to the intimacies of married life, and so devotilnal is sinful as well as unwise to indulge in it prior to marriage. Petting daying and degrades sex and can lead to emotional conflicts, frustrations and nervous tensions which edvotional ultimately cause resentment and hatred where love existed once.
It can very easily lead to sexual intercourse - which is its only logical end; and when a couple constantly stop short of such total union, it can lead to masturbation devotiojal relieve bangaloree tension created and later on to difficulties in the sexual relationship after marriage. Feelings of guilt and regret can ni remain in the mind even after, as a result eevotional petting. Many friendships between boys and girls break up after a while, and if petting has been indulged in, the girl becomes not bangalord better than a prostitute. The girl eating therefore apply the breaks when she finds her boyfriend inclined towards physical contact. From what has been said above, it will be obvious that dating invariably leads to petting and that petting can in turn cause manifold problems.
And so dating itself is totally out of the question for anyone who is seeking to glorify God in his life. Others around us may be indulging in this, but we should not be governed bagalore their example. There is no need to envy them either, for their latter end is always regret and frustration. If you honour Bangalorw and obey the principles laid vangalore in His Word, you can be assured of a life and an eternity that are free from all regret. Yet because many have failed to understand its real meaning, they have never enjoyed its many-sided splendour. Being more influenced in their concept of love by the 20th century entertainment world Teluvu by romantic literature than by the teaching of God's Word, many couples have missed the wholesome and exhilarating experience of true love.
Many a marriage has been wrecked because of a failure to understand the real meaning of love. The emotional thrill caused by the presence of some member of the opposite sex has often been nooks for true love. Proceeding on that basis, many have married only to discover in a short while that what they considered to be love was not love at all - it was just romantic infatuation. How often a young man datinf in love" with some girl and then, projecting himself into the place of the hero of the last film he saw or book he readbegins to feel that if only he could marry her, they could together "live happily ever after".
But marriage has a way of shattering the dream-world that an infatuated couple lived in during days of Telugu devotional books in bangalore dating and engagement. It awakens them and plants them firmly in the devotionaal of Telugu devotional books in bangalore dating. If infatuation is blind, marriage is certainly an eye-opener! True Love We must understand what the Bible means when it speaks of "love", or else we too shall tread the pathway of failure that millions of young people and married couples bangalpre treading today. The New Testament was originally written in Greek and that language has four words for banhalore - agape, philia, storge and eros.
Of these, storge is used almost exclusively to refer to the love of parents for their children and of children for their parents. Since we are dealing here with love between the sexes, we shall ignore storge and consider only the other three words. Agape, philia and eros refer to three levels of love - which could correspond to man's spirit, soul and body. Beginning at the lowest level, eros refers to the love of physical passion. It has been defined as "the hot and unendurable desire" and has primary reference to the union of the body of one with that of the other. It is a love based on something physical in one person that can satisfy the craving of another.
It is a love that always seeks to receive. The next word is philia. This is the commonest word for "love" in Greek, and refers to affectionate regard and the love of friendship. The idea is of cherishing. It has primary reference in marriage to the union of the soul of one with that of the other. It is a love based usually on similarity of intellectual and emotional outlook. It means more than physical love but it can still be self-centered, for its satisfaction often comes from the feeling that one is wanted, or that one is a benefactor or a protector of that other needy person. The third word - which speaks of the highest level of love - is agape.
This is the love of God imparted to us by the Holy Spirit Romans 5: This word has primary reference in marriage to the union of the spirit of one with that of the other. It is a self-giving love - the love of Calvary's cross. It is not simply a wave of emotion; it is a deliberate conviction of the mind issuing in a deliberate policy of the life; it is a deliberate achievement and conquest and victory of the will. It takes all of man to achieve this love; it takes not only his heart; it takes his mind and his will as well. It is impossible for a man to have this love unless the Spirit takes possession of him and sheds abroad the love of God in his heart.
This is love in its fullest and highest form. It has its source in God. The verb-form stands for kindliness towards its object and has reference to the tendency of the will. In reference to the love that should exist between a husband and wife, this would mean that each partner should value the other as of infinite worth; they should have a concern for each other; they should delight and rejoice in each other; and they should be faithful to one another. The Bible defines agape thus: It is slow to lose patience - it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive; it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance.
It has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage. It is not touchy. It does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails. It knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen 1 Corinthians Another definition of agape is: In the married life of a believer, all these loves should exist - but in the proper order - agape first, philia next and eros third. This is in accordance with the teaching of 1 Thessalonians 5: This was the order that God intended should exist in man when He created him.
In fallen man however this order is reversed, and therefore even his concept of love is perverted. An attraction of the carnal mind and body of one to the carnal mind and body of another is what this world calls "love". It is just philia and eros - and alas, sometimes eros alone. Yet in God's eyes, nothing is worthy of being called "love" unless it has the agape constituent in it. Falling in Love Is it right for a believer to fall in love? This depends on what is meant by the term - "falling in love". The world considers love to be an irresistible power that suddenly grips a man and begins to rule him. If, by some chance, the person who has thus "fallen in love" cannot marry his beloved, he has no alternative but to pine away in sorrow all his days - or at least until he "falls in love" again.
A large number of pop songs and films are based on this theme of the disappointed lover. All this is due to the fact that the world can conceive of love only on the philia and eros level. Such a "falling in love" is obviously wrong for a believer. For the child of God, love should commence on the agape level and should be based primarily on spiritual attraction. Thus alone should he "fall in love". He should live so totally under the control of the Holy Spirit that he is able to rule his emotions, and not allow them to run away with him. The Christian must be directed by the Spirit of God in his love as much as in any other area of his life.
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